Today I was hit hard with the reality that I am ready to start looking for a new job. I am not passionate about what I currently do, and feel that because of that I will never really move out of this position. I've always wanted to be able to use my creative part of my brain for my work. I love to design and make things. I also enjoy problem solving and strategy. I'm an intelligent person, and I just think my intelligence is being wasted at this point. I feel as though positions I would be interested in would be impossible for me to land though because of lack of experience. In college I always said I was going to land a marketing or advertising job since I studied business and I feel my creative mindset could be put to good use in those industries to think of innovative ways to market or advertise companies, people, etc. I always said I was going to be very successful at whatever I chose as a career and I just think finance is NOT my thing. It doesn't get me excited. I mean numbers excite me sometimes, but I just don't think it's ME. What horrible timing for this to strike me though, we JUST bought a house and I need the money more than ever. I think I am going to have to put the job hunt on hold until we are settled and then I will have to put the pedal to the metal and hopefully find something I love. I need to be proactive about this. I know if I were to do something I LOVE I would be incredible!! It's the way I've ALWAYS been..... I have strong passion and ambition inside of me. I just need my fire to be lit.
S.O.S.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Vibes
Have you ever met a person that just makes you crazy and not yourself? That gives off negative vibes that seem to find some way to seep into you? I have at least one person like this in my life and it makes me crazy to be around them or to know that Matt is around them without me. I am so not a jealous person, I am very secure in my relationship with Matt, as well as in myself. Hey!! I'm a pretty good catch! hahaha.....I hate jealousy, I think it's an UGLY, ugly thing.. It makes people act ridiculous and do horrible things and it definately will push the object of your affection away, if it is a constant in your life. I've had my bouts with jealousy, and to be honest it is no fun being jealous. It's a lot more fun to embrace life and people. You should be happy for the people you are "jealous of" because there is a reason you are jealous of them. Doing this will make you feel better about yourself and maybe even motivate and inspire you to become a better person....I just really can't believe the power of a person's "aura", ya know? Because some people can make you feel the opposite, if they are super positive and a genuinely wonderful person, those vibes seep into you and you start to feel GREAT about yourself. I have a few people like that in my life as well, who make me feel like a BEAUTIFUL person. LOVE those people! They know who they are... I think....
Anyways on another note...There has been a lot of death surrounding my life. A dear friend of my fiance's died in a car crash over the weekend. It's someone that Matt was very close with before I ever was in the picture,but whenever we ran into him I could tell they had a bond. Matt's face would instantly light up and he would be soo happy to see him. I, myself never knew him well, but knew he was dear to Matt and have shared a few good times with him. He was definately a character that lit up the lives of all of his friends and it's sad to see people like that go. But I guess, "Only the good die young". He is in a better place now and will always be remembered by his many friends. What makes me upset the most is when parents have to bury their children. It's something that should NEVER happen, and it happens all too often. I believe everything happens for a reason though, it's not always clear, but I'm sure this serves a purpose somewhere in the universe.
It's funny how death brings people together... It's sad that sometimes it takes a death to unite people, but at the same time it is somewhat beautiful. I'm sure the people who die enjoy looking down and seeing people reunited. It makes people realize that they should cherish the people in their lives, because you never know when the last time you see someone will be, when goodbye is really goodbye, and not see ya next week! You never think something like that will happen to you, that someone so close to you will be gone, but you really never know! This is why people should NOT be jealous, or argue over petty things, everyone should cherish life and the people they love because you never know when your number will be called.
How depressing.....This fits my mood today though. I feel like I was very spiritual today, a little different than my normal blogs.
P.S. We moved into the house this weekend and life is good just the events surrounding us right now are not. Living with Matt is delightful. I'm sure I will have time to write about that soon, but for now TA TA!
Anyways on another note...There has been a lot of death surrounding my life. A dear friend of my fiance's died in a car crash over the weekend. It's someone that Matt was very close with before I ever was in the picture,but whenever we ran into him I could tell they had a bond. Matt's face would instantly light up and he would be soo happy to see him. I, myself never knew him well, but knew he was dear to Matt and have shared a few good times with him. He was definately a character that lit up the lives of all of his friends and it's sad to see people like that go. But I guess, "Only the good die young". He is in a better place now and will always be remembered by his many friends. What makes me upset the most is when parents have to bury their children. It's something that should NEVER happen, and it happens all too often. I believe everything happens for a reason though, it's not always clear, but I'm sure this serves a purpose somewhere in the universe.
It's funny how death brings people together... It's sad that sometimes it takes a death to unite people, but at the same time it is somewhat beautiful. I'm sure the people who die enjoy looking down and seeing people reunited. It makes people realize that they should cherish the people in their lives, because you never know when the last time you see someone will be, when goodbye is really goodbye, and not see ya next week! You never think something like that will happen to you, that someone so close to you will be gone, but you really never know! This is why people should NOT be jealous, or argue over petty things, everyone should cherish life and the people they love because you never know when your number will be called.
How depressing.....This fits my mood today though. I feel like I was very spiritual today, a little different than my normal blogs.
P.S. We moved into the house this weekend and life is good just the events surrounding us right now are not. Living with Matt is delightful. I'm sure I will have time to write about that soon, but for now TA TA!
Friday, February 5, 2010
FeBRUary
This morning I was practically blogging in my head on the way to work, I was frustrated and hating everyone and then I got to work and became motivated and happy, and rarin to go.... I don't know what overcame me, but whatever it is, I AM GLAD..... ALL week I've been this sort of bummy irritable lazy person, not wanting to really doing anything, or see anyone, and so on.... Today I am back on track and feel more like my better self. THANK GOODNESS!! I have tons of things to do because I must begin moving into my new home this upcoming Wednesday!!! YAY!!! I finally got my holiday bonus from work today, and I want to share that about 47% of it went to taxes... Isn't that just friggen WONDERFUL?!! What THE Eff?! I really still can't believe that, I am over it now, but I was pretty upset and (earlier I used the word) flabbergasted by this. It just doesn't seem right.
I was feeling pretty old this week, being so tired and not wanting to hang out with people. I , ME, wanted to go to bed early..HA! We are expecting a snow storm, starting tonight into tomorrow and I am excited to get snowed in. I was talking to a friend about this and she said the same thing, but our ideas of being "snowed in" were totally different. I enjoy being snowed in at my own home so I can get things accomplished around the house, but she was excited to be snowed in somewhere with no parents and tons of friends and booze! hahahahah WoW, I am a dorky old soul right therrrr! Oh well, I like housework, and cooking, and painting, and organizing, and then, and then, and then!!!! I'm not a total old fart and party pooper, don't get me wrong, I enjoy boozin here and there, and playing games, and getting a little rowdy, but I need to be productive, I don't like to feel like I am wasting time. It's an issue I have sometimes, I don't always know how to relax. I think I make other people nervous with this characteristic sometimes. I know Matt feels it sometimes, when he wants to lay in bed and be a bum all day and he can feel me getting nervous and twitchy and wanting to leave to go get SOMETHING done. I get anxiety if I am not doing something productive sometimes. I just always feel like I have SOO much to do. It's not like it's all in my head either. I have lists of things that I want to and need to do. They are actual REAL things. I don't understand how some people have so much time to just play around, hang out, party! Do they have NO responsibilities, or maybe just No SENSE of responsibility??? I don't know. I know people who barely spend any time at home, HOW??? Don't you at least have mail to go through? Or bills to pay? A room to clean? Laundry to do? I dunno. Maybe its a freedom thing. They could maybe do that stuff into the weee hours of the night or morning, where if I were to do that my parents would be like GO TO BED, what are you doing?? Like they have before, when I get my midnight bursts of motivation.
I've really become a blogger hahaha... I kind of can't believe it. I never thought it would happen. I was always afraid to put my thoughts out there into the web universe, but as I've mentioned before there's probably not many people who read my rambles and rants.
Unfortunately, I think I have to end this here. The market is about to close, I have things to do and I need to get out of here early. I will write again soon.
I was feeling pretty old this week, being so tired and not wanting to hang out with people. I , ME, wanted to go to bed early..HA! We are expecting a snow storm, starting tonight into tomorrow and I am excited to get snowed in. I was talking to a friend about this and she said the same thing, but our ideas of being "snowed in" were totally different. I enjoy being snowed in at my own home so I can get things accomplished around the house, but she was excited to be snowed in somewhere with no parents and tons of friends and booze! hahahahah WoW, I am a dorky old soul right therrrr! Oh well, I like housework, and cooking, and painting, and organizing, and then, and then, and then!!!! I'm not a total old fart and party pooper, don't get me wrong, I enjoy boozin here and there, and playing games, and getting a little rowdy, but I need to be productive, I don't like to feel like I am wasting time. It's an issue I have sometimes, I don't always know how to relax. I think I make other people nervous with this characteristic sometimes. I know Matt feels it sometimes, when he wants to lay in bed and be a bum all day and he can feel me getting nervous and twitchy and wanting to leave to go get SOMETHING done. I get anxiety if I am not doing something productive sometimes. I just always feel like I have SOO much to do. It's not like it's all in my head either. I have lists of things that I want to and need to do. They are actual REAL things. I don't understand how some people have so much time to just play around, hang out, party! Do they have NO responsibilities, or maybe just No SENSE of responsibility??? I don't know. I know people who barely spend any time at home, HOW??? Don't you at least have mail to go through? Or bills to pay? A room to clean? Laundry to do? I dunno. Maybe its a freedom thing. They could maybe do that stuff into the weee hours of the night or morning, where if I were to do that my parents would be like GO TO BED, what are you doing?? Like they have before, when I get my midnight bursts of motivation.
I've really become a blogger hahaha... I kind of can't believe it. I never thought it would happen. I was always afraid to put my thoughts out there into the web universe, but as I've mentioned before there's probably not many people who read my rambles and rants.
Unfortunately, I think I have to end this here. The market is about to close, I have things to do and I need to get out of here early. I will write again soon.
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