Thursday, May 27, 2010

SlaaaCKIN

I am feeling very BLAH today...I've definately fell off my horse and become a bit unorganized and un-motivated. This week I have started to try to get BACK ON... It's bad when you overdraft your checking account, forget to pay bills, and everything is just a mess...I've been Slacking!!!





I feel so overwhelmed with life right now... and I probably shouldnt be blogging, but I dont know what else to do....I need some kind of therapy right now. I have this constant feeling of anxiety today and I don't know why. I just feel like there is soo much to do in my life right now and soo much I WANT to do -it's just soo overwhelming, it makes me want to cry. If this post comes out a bit choppy, it's because I am trying to be productive at work as I write this...I'm hoping a little productivity will help me feel better.



I have such a problem staying focused on one thing.... My mind is all over the place and I think that really hurts my productivity. I am too easily distracted and just want to explore EVERYTHING. I can't stay focused on one thing long enough to master it. I think if I spent more time on my "hobbies" I would find something that I could stay focused on... When I am painting, cooking, writing, or even researching music - I tend to feel at ease and can stay focused.



I also just have a lot going on right now..First house, first time being on my own... I work in the city and have long days away from my abode. I need to get back on my list making, calendar keeping, one thing at a time regimine. It was working so well for me at the beginning of the year. Blogging more often again may help too.



I also met with a few random girls this weekend to brainstorm some ideas for businesses and just taking time to express our creativity. I am very enthusiastic about it, and hope something comes out of it. I think it really could. Everyone that was there had something different to bring to the table and I think starting a business with a group like that could really work, because then each person can focus on different aspects. We also plan to like go out and do things together, and just get together once a month and brainstorm and create art and expand each others minds....

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I am me

I am happy to feel myself again.......



I have been on this new birth control the past couple of months and recently realized it was making me just about certifiably crazy. I felt bipolar, Manic one minute and depressed the next. One week I just about cried every day at work and I really just wasn't myself. It was a horrible feeling. I have stopped taking the pill which was Cryselle, generic brand of LoOvrall, just so if anybody reading would like to know. I feel soo much better now, It's great! I am glad I realized that it was the pill. I did a little research and called my gyno and she switched my prescription. I am afraid to start a new pill now though. I don't ever want to feel like that again. It was horrible. This pill caused so many horrible side effects from the manic depressant behavior to weight gain and FUPA addage to lowered sex drive, and overall energy and motivation to do anything. I was miserable and now that I am off it I feel like myself again and it is good to be ME once more. Ahhhh!!! I must warn any women out there that when you do go off of it, you will get your period and you may feel the worst period side effects you have felt, but it is well worth it. I took the first period day off of work, bc I was just about leaking blood and the cramps were pretty bad, as well as the lack of energy - but I just sat home and relaxed and watched movies. It was nice to do, because I never get to do that and after the first day the effects subsided. I just wanted to put my story out there.... It's good to be me!! :)



Here's another cheesy poem:



Sometimes the words just flow

And sometimes I just don't know

But when all is said and done

You are the ONLY one

You are constantly there

Showing me that you care

Even when we fight

I can always see the light



Our love is neverending

I can se it continuously extending

Let's hope it never fades

Into some sort of facade

Because without you I am less

But together we are best



Thursday, May 6, 2010

Words-a-flowing

It has been quite a while since I last posted...I just had the urge to write pen to paper and the words just started to flow out of me. I don't know what else to do with them, but share them on here:
Sing a song today for those you love.
Be free with all your being
Never let others supress you.
Let your thoughts flow and feelings be heard.
Take life by the hand with a smile and a light heart.
Embrace all it has to offer and you will lead a happier healthier life.
Love the life you live.
Never envy another's.
Do what you want and not what you're told.
Go with the flow to achieve peace and harmony.
The ying and yang, the feng and the shui.
It's all about being at ease and never getting bent out of shape.
Live the life you want.
Love the ones you're with.