Dedication

So here I am trying to keep my pledge to blog once a week. I usually am extremely anti-computer on the weekend....Today it is snowing, and I am probably going to be stranded in my house... I need to bake some Christmas cookies but I have to wait until my mother is done doing her Christmas baking.

This year I am not in the Holiday Spirit yet. I've done most of my Christmas shopping, I was on a mission today before the snow started falling HARD....I am hoping once I start to bake, maybe partake in a glass of wine and some Christmas tunage I will then be in the Spirit of Christmas FULL BLAST..... It's not that I am depressed or anything of the sort. It just simply doesn't FEEL like Christmas...

I keep getting interrupted by my family and that is one of the things I HAAAATe about being home when everyone else is.... otherwise I feel like I could be quite the homebody. Part of me was actually EXCITED that today was a snow day and Id be locked inside to putz around my house....

I recently purchased Jack Johnson's "En Concert" Special Edition Album and DVD Film..... I am OBSESSED!!! If you are a big JJ fan, I recommend you buy this. The songs on the album are amazing and the DVD is BEAUTIFUL! I always said I would love to MARRY Jack Johnson, and this has only CONFIRMED these feelings. He is just so "obtainable" and "real" - I feel like he is so chill and easy to hang out with. I would love to either be in his band, or just travel with them. They seem like such a fun, interesting, passionate bunch. Maybe I should see if they are hiring any roadies or anything hahaha... This is my mind.

I got my hair did yesterday. I always want to ask the people that work there if they have ever found a tick or anything "strange" in someone's hair / scalp. I never do though. This is again my mind. I also have often thoughts / feelings that I am going to dye young, or I am going to be unable to bear children, or thoughts of what if I just stepped on the gas and crashed my car into or off of whatever is in front of me....I also recently have a lot of thoughts about having a seizure, I don't know why, but I just think, "what if that happened right now"- Maybe it's a fear in me.......

Once a Week

I am going to attempt to blog once a week.

I have a new way of accomplishing things. I have a little notebook on me at ALL times that I write anything down that I need/want to do in and it is been very effective soo far.

Being more accomplished in life makes me a happier person. It rids me of some anxiety and stress and so far I have been overall a much happier person, less irritable, and more Free and OF COURSE MORE ACCOMPLISHED, as well as motivated in both my work and my personal life.

Yesterday, I finally went indoor rock climbing for the first time in my life. This has been something I've wanted to do forever and I finally did it. I think this is something I could REALLY get into. Over the summer and into the Fall some friends and I did some crazy off trail hiking at one of our local parks and I really discovered a passion for it. I LOVE how it can be a mental AND physical workout. You strategize and have to plan your every move and be very aware of your body and it's such a rush when you've "reached the top". I really enjoy physical activity and being outside, it's really a shame that I sit a desk in front of a computer all day.

Matt, my fiance really enjoyed rock climbing as well, and I've already began to daydream about us becoming real rock climbers and participating in trips to the Andirondacks and different mountains all over the world. Sometimes I just crave the life of a wanderer.... but I guess that can be a lonely life. I am 26 and I really think I STILL don't really know what I want from life. I can't say I am unhappy with my life so far. I would consider myself somewhat average. I feel I have accomplished more than a lot of people my age ... I've definately am happy with a lot of the experiences I've had and places I have seen. There just never seems to be enough hours in the day to do everything I would like to do. I've always wanted to start my own business, but I guess EVERYONE has dreams of that. It's just about making it happen, having that ambition to take hold of the reigns and just GO FOR IT! Sometimes I am too much of a slacker for that though and other times I have that REAL Go-getter attitude. Maybe someday I will get some real ambition and motivation and do something incredible!........and then again maybe I wont. Who knows?

Maybe I am too much of a scatter brain to know what I want and go for it. I feel like I am interested in so many things and want to experience such a variety of things, but sometimes that can be overwhelming and I just end up sitting around thinking about all the things I want to do but never get around to doing them......I think that is part of the reason my list making is soo effective, but there are still things on the list that I procrastinate on. I also notice that for some reason when I am home alone by myself I tend to be more productive than if someone else were in my house and it's not because I am keeping them company; I spend most of my time away in my room, it's like my little home within my house. Ohhh, how I can't wait to have my own HOUSE!!! - That process is driving us a little nutty. I try to not let it stress me out, I kind of have to. Matt gets pretty stressed out about it and I have to be the one to keep him sane, calm him down. If we are both stressing than that is just miserable for us both.....

We found a house we both loved and my parents really liked it as well. We put a nice bid in on it, but someone else had already bid on it. Our bids are supposedly really close and the current people that are in contract or whatever it is with the seller are still iffy.... I really feel like that house SHOULD be OURS!!! House hunting starts out fun, but gets OLD really fast! I am really ready for it to be over and to live with my lovey!!! We are so much happier together than we are being apart most of the time.