Oh what a difference a good weekend can make!

I started this post on Thursday, February 19th...

I am so distracted today.... I can't seem to stay focused on the things I should be focusing on.  I am tired, and unmotivated, and yearning for a nap.  February is flying by, and I need to keep on track with trying to come here to post twice a month. It's been a while since I have just rambled to you, and I am guessing some of you might miss that side of me. I have been feeling a bit down lately, and although in the past feeling that way sparked my inspiration to write -- I have just been kind of stuck in a rut.   And, it's not everyday I feel this way, but it's just been on and off these past few months.  I also drank wine with friends last night, and stayed up too late... So lack of sleep is kicking in and making me feel like a bit of a zombie. Gosh, I am getting old... I never really feel like an adult, even with a child, I still feel like that same girl I was in my twenties, or at least that's how I want to see myself.  I am definitely different, and have been through so much since then.. It's crazy to reflect upon the maturity that occurs in yourself throughout a decade.

I have been doing a lot of cleaning, organizing, rearranging, and purging this year.  I recently came across this folder in my house that I had labeled, "Christina's Creative Flow"(HAHAHAH), it contains mostly stories and poems that I had written in middle school and highschool.  It was so interesting to look back on these things and my perspective on life, and although I was much younger and spunkier, I still was surprised at how much wisdom I actually had at that age.  I was writing about friendships vanishing and greed in the world, and of course LOVE.  Goodness, at a young age, I really fell in love with someone, and it consumed me. Still, to this day, I think of it as real love... I know sometimes when we are younger we think we love someone, but then you look back and think NO, that was not love at all... but this was magical, there was just this connection I felt from the moment I laid my eyes on this person.  I would like to think it was mutual -- we did continue a relationship for years upon years, not always romantic, but we stayed in touch and would talk to each other for hours very frequently.  It was Bella and Edward type shit.... except we were never really sexual, and of course he didn't sparkle in the light. For me, Love has never been about your physical appearance.  I have always been more of a personality person.  I can honestly say that sometimes someone being super attractive is a bit of a turnoff to me...Not totally, but if you are super good-looking it might make it harder for me to be attracted to you -you would have to work harder to make your personality shine through...

But anyways, here I am coming back to finish this post on a Monday morning.  I am feeling refreshed from the weekend, and the weather took a turn towards spring this weekend.  Oh I love it!  I got to take Zoey to the park and the beach.. fresh air, sunshine and salty air make me a happy woman.  My muscles are also a little sore this morning from getting in some good workouts over the weekend, and I also found out that I still have hot yoga classes available to me that I bought years ago at my favorite studio... so I am feeling uppity! It's probably mostly the weather making me feel this much better than last week.  Last week it was rainy, and gloomy all week and that just really takes a toll on me.  I don't think I could ever live in London or Seattle, or anywhere that has full on clouds and rain  for long periods of time.  I really feel like I would turn into a puddle on the ground... How do people do it?  I guess it takes a certain type.  My mood is way too affected by the weather.. Do you feel that way too?

I am so happy to feel like a page has turned today.. sometimes Mondays are the worst, but today I am digging you Monday! Happy Monday to any of you out there reading this! xox

 



She loves it as much as I do!

Hanging with her Nonna

Baby BFFs



Check that Pony out!

The Mind

I just have the urge to write. Creativity has been knocking on my door lately and I wish I had more time to answer.
Sometimes I play pretend in my head like I did as a little girl to make my days feel more important, interesting, worthwhile, I guess.  It helps me to get through some of the mundane tasks I sometimes must complete.  I believe in mind over matter wholeheartedly.  If you make yourself think positively, you will feel positively. If you think negatively, those thoughts will only make your days worse. When I feel down and out, and upset with the world, I try to take a minute to remind myself of all the good I have in my life and that there is so much worse that COULD be happening.  Be thankful for what you DO have, for the life you ARE living, appreciate the world around you.  I feel that with social media these days people are always comparing their lives to others, and trying to outdo each other.  The thing is, social media can be easily masked.  Someone may travel a lot, but they may be lonely and unhappy deep inside.  The couple that may seem so happy and in love could be on the verge of splitting up.  Remember to be present in your own life, and to enjoy everything you have, LIVE, put down the phone, step away from the screens, unplug, and enjoy a real conversation, make real memories, take in all that you can.  Just because you didn't post a photo on instagram doesn't mean that it didn't happen.  Matter of fact, most of the time, it means you are living in the moment and enjoying yourself too much to be bothered.  Our minds take the best photographs. Don't you think?

2013

 I'm baaaaack...... I received this beautiful antique journal from my mother:



And have vowed to write in it every day for a year......
So far so good... And I am glad to be back into writing in a journal.... I've always had an outlet for writing in the past but then somehow I got completely off track with that.  I mean I carry around a notebook that I will write randomly in but its more for list making haha.. I love my lists!!! It seems to have been inspiring me to tap into my brain and thoughts more.  I have kept most of my journals from the past and once in a while I will go back and reminisce, and dream that one day someone will read about my life, or maybe even publish my journals... But that's just a crazy dream in the ultimate Christina La LA land...

HIT

Today I was hit hard with the reality that I am ready to start looking for a new job. I am not passionate about what I currently do, and feel that because of that I will never really move out of this position. I've always wanted to be able to use my creative part of my brain for my work. I love to design and make things. I also enjoy problem solving and strategy. I'm an intelligent person, and I just think my intelligence is being wasted at this point. I feel as though positions I would be interested in would be impossible for me to land though because of lack of experience. In college I always said I was going to land a marketing or advertising job since I studied business and I feel my creative mindset could be put to good use in those industries to think of innovative ways to market or advertise companies, people, etc. I always said I was going to be very successful at whatever I chose as a career and I just think finance is NOT my thing. It doesn't get me excited. I mean numbers excite me sometimes, but I just don't think it's ME. What horrible timing for this to strike me though, we JUST bought a house and I need the money more than ever. I think I am going to have to put the job hunt on hold until we are settled and then I will have to put the pedal to the metal and hopefully find something I love. I need to be proactive about this. I know if I were to do something I LOVE I would be incredible!! It's the way I've ALWAYS been..... I have strong passion and ambition inside of me. I just need my fire to be lit.

S.O.S.