Monday, March 29, 2010

The Randomness that is Me

so, I've fell a bit behind.....So here I am now posting just to post. I always seem MOST inspired when I am no where near a computer... Life is kind of crazy right now, because we are just soo busy with the house and sometimes I am just SOOO overwhelmed with everything there is to do. I just have soo many ideas, and so much going on in my head that I sometimes start something new in the middle of doing something. It is just sort of insane and I am glad that Matt and I are understanding of the fact that our attitudes right now don't really mean a thing. We both get stressed and feel insane at times. Things are coming along though, but there is still a ton more to do.

It's kind of sad that I still get anxiety and sometimes get what I like to call "phantom anxiety" - which is getting the feeling of anxiety for no reason. I just think my body is used to having anxiety all the time, growing up in an "anxiety house". I have to literally take a moment sometimes and tell myself to calm down and breathe and there is nothing to be worrying about. Life is good, and there's no rush, there's soo much time, and no one is pressuring you....I think that eventually my anxiety and stress levels will subside. I've gained some weight due to lack of exercise and eating a lot of crap when we FIRST moved in. I'm hoping this will reverse soon. I feel like CRAP about myself most of the time and can't believe that I have let myself go. I spontaneously joined LA Fitness recently, but don't have much time to go workout. I feel guilty doing anything, but what needs to be done around the house. I think i am going to try to get to the gym this week though... I CAN'T let myself go any further - it hurts!! It's soo much harder to take off than to put on too...Matt, on the other hand is LOSING weight, which makes it even more depressing for me!! hahaha... I think the more we get into a normal lifestyle, eating habits, sleeping habits... I will get thin!! I HOPE!!! Maybe I should turn this into a food blog... or not....

Work has been busier which keeps me happy... I've gotten to help on a marketing project, which excites me... I'd like to get more and more involved with that side of things.. I do find myself anxious to get home to get work done. Sometimes I wish I would have taken off more time from work when we first moved in to get things done around the house. There are NEVER enough hours in the day and time just seems to fly when I am working around the house.

I finally used a gift card I recieved from one of my bosses for the Apple Store and purchased the ipod classic. I LOVE music and this thing will be able to hold ALL of it and I LOVE IT... My music collection is kind of random. You never know what is going to pop out, from oldies to classic rock to rap to reggae to techno to dance to punk rock to Indy - I got it!!! And I love it!! I am proud of my collection of music...Sometimes a song will pop out that I may be shortly embarassed by, but that's just ME!! I'm eclectic!!

I went to the Atlantic City Beer Festival last weekend, and it was good to get away for a day. We went to see Alice In Wonderland in IMAX 3D during the day before beer fest. I reccommend you see that movie. It was visually amazing and just a really cool movie. Johnny Depp was pretty amazing, and all the characters were interesting. Tim Burton is just genius! I love a lot of his stuff. I'd like to take a look into his brain. The Beer Festival was fun, but not as fun as last year for me...The set up was different and didnt work as well as last years. I was somewhat disappointed. I wasn't even really druink when left there - BOO!!!

Have you ever had a friend that you would consider a "high maintenance friend" and it's not because they take forever to get ready or need to buy the latest fashion trends. I'm talking about when you go out with them it's almost like a JOB. It seems like they need all your attention on top of everyone elses and it's all about THEM. It's like they want to compete for attention and Iiiiiiii JUST DONT DO THAT. I like to go out and have a good time, goof around, act like an idiot but I don't really care who is paying attention or not... It's all about just chilling and having fun with each other. I don't know if I'm conveying my point well, but it's something that bothers me - Attention Whores. I can't have a good time with you, if I feel like you're trying to have a competition. UGH.... anyways NEXT!!!!

I'm not sure I can think of a topic to move onto next, so I'm going to end this endless ramble here... and feel great in the fact that I have officially UPDATED... haha.. ok back to work!!!! eeeek!

Till next time my friends.....CIAO!

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