UP

I am feeling very happy today... Even though I am having some money anxiety, I feel good. I have been making time for my art and have been feeling more and more inspired everyday. I think that making time for my art will present me with a better quality of life. My job is my job and my hobbies are my hobbies. One day I hope that maybe my hobbies can be part of my job, but for now it works. I need to pay the bills.......



I love our home and the life we live in it. Sometimes things get stressful and hard to deal with, but I have to realize that I create my own stress in these situations. I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself to get things done.

SlaaaCKIN

I am feeling very BLAH today...I've definately fell off my horse and become a bit unorganized and un-motivated. This week I have started to try to get BACK ON... It's bad when you overdraft your checking account, forget to pay bills, and everything is just a mess...I've been Slacking!!!





I feel so overwhelmed with life right now... and I probably shouldnt be blogging, but I dont know what else to do....I need some kind of therapy right now. I have this constant feeling of anxiety today and I don't know why. I just feel like there is soo much to do in my life right now and soo much I WANT to do -it's just soo overwhelming, it makes me want to cry. If this post comes out a bit choppy, it's because I am trying to be productive at work as I write this...I'm hoping a little productivity will help me feel better.



I have such a problem staying focused on one thing.... My mind is all over the place and I think that really hurts my productivity. I am too easily distracted and just want to explore EVERYTHING. I can't stay focused on one thing long enough to master it. I think if I spent more time on my "hobbies" I would find something that I could stay focused on... When I am painting, cooking, writing, or even researching music - I tend to feel at ease and can stay focused.



I also just have a lot going on right now..First house, first time being on my own... I work in the city and have long days away from my abode. I need to get back on my list making, calendar keeping, one thing at a time regimine. It was working so well for me at the beginning of the year. Blogging more often again may help too.



I also met with a few random girls this weekend to brainstorm some ideas for businesses and just taking time to express our creativity. I am very enthusiastic about it, and hope something comes out of it. I think it really could. Everyone that was there had something different to bring to the table and I think starting a business with a group like that could really work, because then each person can focus on different aspects. We also plan to like go out and do things together, and just get together once a month and brainstorm and create art and expand each others minds....

I am me

I am happy to feel myself again.......



I have been on this new birth control the past couple of months and recently realized it was making me just about certifiably crazy. I felt bipolar, Manic one minute and depressed the next. One week I just about cried every day at work and I really just wasn't myself. It was a horrible feeling. I have stopped taking the pill which was Cryselle, generic brand of LoOvrall, just so if anybody reading would like to know. I feel soo much better now, It's great! I am glad I realized that it was the pill. I did a little research and called my gyno and she switched my prescription. I am afraid to start a new pill now though. I don't ever want to feel like that again. It was horrible. This pill caused so many horrible side effects from the manic depressant behavior to weight gain and FUPA addage to lowered sex drive, and overall energy and motivation to do anything. I was miserable and now that I am off it I feel like myself again and it is good to be ME once more. Ahhhh!!! I must warn any women out there that when you do go off of it, you will get your period and you may feel the worst period side effects you have felt, but it is well worth it. I took the first period day off of work, bc I was just about leaking blood and the cramps were pretty bad, as well as the lack of energy - but I just sat home and relaxed and watched movies. It was nice to do, because I never get to do that and after the first day the effects subsided. I just wanted to put my story out there.... It's good to be me!! :)



Here's another cheesy poem:



Sometimes the words just flow

And sometimes I just don't know

But when all is said and done

You are the ONLY one

You are constantly there

Showing me that you care

Even when we fight

I can always see the light



Our love is neverending

I can se it continuously extending

Let's hope it never fades

Into some sort of facade

Because without you I am less

But together we are best

Words-a-flowing

It has been quite a while since I last posted...I just had the urge to write pen to paper and the words just started to flow out of me. I don't know what else to do with them, but share them on here:

Sing a song today for those you love.

Be free with all your being

Never let others supress you.

Let your thoughts flow and feelings be heard.

Take life by the hand with a smile and a light heart.

Embrace all it has to offer and you will lead a happier healthier life.

Love the life you live.

Never envy another's.

Do what you want and not what you're told.

Go with the flow to achieve peace and harmony.

The ying and yang, the feng and the shui.

It's all about being at ease and never getting bent out of shape.

Live the life you want.

Love the ones you're with.

Technology

Yesterday, I was forced to take the ferry home from NYC to NJ.......and as I sat there with my cocktail in my hand, taking part in one of my favorite things to do, PEOPLE WATCHING, I noticed that the art of random conversation is dying. This was a perfect environment for people to have random conversations with strangers, which is such a great, fun thing to do - BUT INSTEAD, everyone was on their computers, Blackberries, ipods, Kindles, Nooks, cell phones, etc. etc. and I was just soo disappointed. The most interesting thing I had to watch was a woman and two children. They were the only ones having interesting interaction, conversation, and FUN!!

The Randomness that is Me

so, I've fell a bit behind.....So here I am now posting just to post. I always seem MOST inspired when I am no where near a computer... Life is kind of crazy right now, because we are just soo busy with the house and sometimes I am just SOOO overwhelmed with everything there is to do. I just have soo many ideas, and so much going on in my head that I sometimes start something new in the middle of doing something. It is just sort of insane and I am glad that Matt and I are understanding of the fact that our attitudes right now don't really mean a thing. We both get stressed and feel insane at times. Things are coming along though, but there is still a ton more to do.

It's kind of sad that I still get anxiety and sometimes get what I like to call "phantom anxiety" - which is getting the feeling of anxiety for no reason. I just think my body is used to having anxiety all the time, growing up in an "anxiety house". I have to literally take a moment sometimes and tell myself to calm down and breathe and there is nothing to be worrying about. Life is good, and there's no rush, there's soo much time, and no one is pressuring you....I think that eventually my anxiety and stress levels will subside. I've gained some weight due to lack of exercise and eating a lot of crap when we FIRST moved in. I'm hoping this will reverse soon. I feel like CRAP about myself most of the time and can't believe that I have let myself go. I spontaneously joined LA Fitness recently, but don't have much time to go workout. I feel guilty doing anything, but what needs to be done around the house. I think i am going to try to get to the gym this week though... I CAN'T let myself go any further - it hurts!! It's soo much harder to take off than to put on too...Matt, on the other hand is LOSING weight, which makes it even more depressing for me!! hahaha... I think the more we get into a normal lifestyle, eating habits, sleeping habits... I will get thin!! I HOPE!!! Maybe I should turn this into a food blog... or not....

Work has been busier which keeps me happy... I've gotten to help on a marketing project, which excites me... I'd like to get more and more involved with that side of things.. I do find myself anxious to get home to get work done. Sometimes I wish I would have taken off more time from work when we first moved in to get things done around the house. There are NEVER enough hours in the day and time just seems to fly when I am working around the house.

I finally used a gift card I recieved from one of my bosses for the Apple Store and purchased the ipod classic. I LOVE music and this thing will be able to hold ALL of it and I LOVE IT... My music collection is kind of random. You never know what is going to pop out, from oldies to classic rock to rap to reggae to techno to dance to punk rock to Indy - I got it!!! And I love it!! I am proud of my collection of music...Sometimes a song will pop out that I may be shortly embarassed by, but that's just ME!! I'm eclectic!!

I went to the Atlantic City Beer Festival last weekend, and it was good to get away for a day. We went to see Alice In Wonderland in IMAX 3D during the day before beer fest. I reccommend you see that movie. It was visually amazing and just a really cool movie. Johnny Depp was pretty amazing, and all the characters were interesting. Tim Burton is just genius! I love a lot of his stuff. I'd like to take a look into his brain. The Beer Festival was fun, but not as fun as last year for me...The set up was different and didnt work as well as last years. I was somewhat disappointed. I wasn't even really druink when left there - BOO!!!

Have you ever had a friend that you would consider a "high maintenance friend" and it's not because they take forever to get ready or need to buy the latest fashion trends. I'm talking about when you go out with them it's almost like a JOB. It seems like they need all your attention on top of everyone elses and it's all about THEM. It's like they want to compete for attention and Iiiiiiii JUST DONT DO THAT. I like to go out and have a good time, goof around, act like an idiot but I don't really care who is paying attention or not... It's all about just chilling and having fun with each other. I don't know if I'm conveying my point well, but it's something that bothers me - Attention Whores. I can't have a good time with you, if I feel like you're trying to have a competition. UGH.... anyways NEXT!!!!

I'm not sure I can think of a topic to move onto next, so I'm going to end this endless ramble here... and feel great in the fact that I have officially UPDATED... haha.. ok back to work!!!! eeeek!

Till next time my friends.....CIAO!

Putting it out there...

Today I feel like doing a different kind of post. Here are some things that I don't always want to say aloud:





Sometimes I like to cry.


I'm not sure if I want to have babies...


I am sometimes embarassed to eat in front of you.


I don't like asking for help.


I want more tattoos.


I sometimes REALLY enjoy being ALONE.

I am kind of scared of the dark.

Sometimes I'm insecure.
If I could, I'd be a wanderer.
I enjoy the smell of my own feet.
I cry like a little bitch when Im REALLY EFFIN MAD.
I dont always take criticism well.
I have SLIGHT OCD.
Sometimes I overreact and am too awkward to apologize.
Sometimes I'm JUST awkward.
I like cole slaw.
I think men should be gentlemanly.
I get upset when things don't go the way I expected.
I get phantom anxiety.
I argue with MYSELF over things.
I don't always say what I want to say.
I LOVE to stare and people watch.
I am VERY Nosey!
I'll google just about ANYTHING.
I eavesdrop on people's conversations.
I'm somewhat of a people pleaser.
I can be easily irritated.
I enjoy arts and crafts.
I can be old fashioned.
I check out women.....

Let's end it on that note. I'll return with another post soon...

Frustration

I find myself getting more and more frustrated with my job. I am completely bored with what I do. It's almost brainless and somewhat useless at some points.....And i have a brain that wants to go go go!! I really just dont think the people around me see my potential. They don't realize I am an intellect and I just feel STUCK.... I want to MOVE out of this position into something where I feel like I can actually MAKE some sort of IMPACT.... I LOVE TO LEARN and be challenged and I am just NOT feeling that way...

We hired a new marketing guy and I tried to show him that I was interested in what he does... Striking up convo, asking about marketing techniques and just picking his brain - Today they interviewed someone to intern for him... DOUBLE YOU, TEEEE, EFFF!!!! I am so bad at being demanding and asking for things... I dont know what to do anymore. My mind is all over the place with the new house and this new found frustration for my job. I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD!!! Sometimes I feel like I have moved backward in fact... It's sad and sometimes I want to cry, but I guess it's my own fault. I always thought someone would take me under their wing and teach me, and I've had false promises made to me about becoming "more involved" and then I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENS??????? It just DOESNT HAPPEN!!! Maybe someone just thinks I AM A COMPLETE IDIOT!!!! I really dont know..... I've tried to prove myself and be a helpful and willing person... Open to whatever, but something needs to GIVE! I need SOMETHING! And to be frank, I'm not even sure what it is I need.... I feel so lost sometimes.

Maybe I need to open my mouth. I have a problem with that. I always had..... I don't know why. I think it may be an independence thing, like ILL FIGURE IT OUT! Somehow Ill make it work... I dont know... I really NEED to do something!! I find myself becoming miserable here and I once was soo happy... I REALLY WANTED to move in the direction of this marketing guy, but he probably thinks I am incompetent because that seems to be his attitude. I really just don't know... Right now I have no time to work on this, but maybe I do, maybe I'm just a slacker lacking motivation..... UGH LIFE!!!

On the other hand, I am beyond happy with our new home, and Matt and I find ourselves wanting to be HOME all the time... We're afraid of becoming Hermits... But we've been getting out... Ok im out!

Till we meet again -

HIT

Today I was hit hard with the reality that I am ready to start looking for a new job. I am not passionate about what I currently do, and feel that because of that I will never really move out of this position. I've always wanted to be able to use my creative part of my brain for my work. I love to design and make things. I also enjoy problem solving and strategy. I'm an intelligent person, and I just think my intelligence is being wasted at this point. I feel as though positions I would be interested in would be impossible for me to land though because of lack of experience. In college I always said I was going to land a marketing or advertising job since I studied business and I feel my creative mindset could be put to good use in those industries to think of innovative ways to market or advertise companies, people, etc. I always said I was going to be very successful at whatever I chose as a career and I just think finance is NOT my thing. It doesn't get me excited. I mean numbers excite me sometimes, but I just don't think it's ME. What horrible timing for this to strike me though, we JUST bought a house and I need the money more than ever. I think I am going to have to put the job hunt on hold until we are settled and then I will have to put the pedal to the metal and hopefully find something I love. I need to be proactive about this. I know if I were to do something I LOVE I would be incredible!! It's the way I've ALWAYS been..... I have strong passion and ambition inside of me. I just need my fire to be lit.

S.O.S.

Vibes

Have you ever met a person that just makes you crazy and not yourself? That gives off negative vibes that seem to find some way to seep into you? I have at least one person like this in my life and it makes me crazy to be around them or to know that Matt is around them without me. I am so not a jealous person, I am very secure in my relationship with Matt, as well as in myself. Hey!! I'm a pretty good catch! hahaha.....I hate jealousy, I think it's an UGLY, ugly thing.. It makes people act ridiculous and do horrible things and it definately will push the object of your affection away, if it is a constant in your life. I've had my bouts with jealousy, and to be honest it is no fun being jealous. It's a lot more fun to embrace life and people. You should be happy for the people you are "jealous of" because there is a reason you are jealous of them. Doing this will make you feel better about yourself and maybe even motivate and inspire you to become a better person....I just really can't believe the power of a person's "aura", ya know? Because some people can make you feel the opposite, if they are super positive and a genuinely wonderful person, those vibes seep into you and you start to feel GREAT about yourself. I have a few people like that in my life as well, who make me feel like a BEAUTIFUL person. LOVE those people! They know who they are... I think....

Anyways on another note...There has been a lot of death surrounding my life. A dear friend of my fiance's died in a car crash over the weekend. It's someone that Matt was very close with before I ever was in the picture,but whenever we ran into him I could tell they had a bond. Matt's face would instantly light up and he would be soo happy to see him. I, myself never knew him well, but knew he was dear to Matt and have shared a few good times with him. He was definately a character that lit up the lives of all of his friends and it's sad to see people like that go. But I guess, "Only the good die young". He is in a better place now and will always be remembered by his many friends. What makes me upset the most is when parents have to bury their children. It's something that should NEVER happen, and it happens all too often. I believe everything happens for a reason though, it's not always clear, but I'm sure this serves a purpose somewhere in the universe.

It's funny how death brings people together... It's sad that sometimes it takes a death to unite people, but at the same time it is somewhat beautiful. I'm sure the people who die enjoy looking down and seeing people reunited. It makes people realize that they should cherish the people in their lives, because you never know when the last time you see someone will be, when goodbye is really goodbye, and not see ya next week! You never think something like that will happen to you, that someone so close to you will be gone, but you really never know! This is why people should NOT be jealous, or argue over petty things, everyone should cherish life and the people they love because you never know when your number will be called.

How depressing.....This fits my mood today though. I feel like I was very spiritual today, a little different than my normal blogs.

P.S. We moved into the house this weekend and life is good just the events surrounding us right now are not. Living with Matt is delightful. I'm sure I will have time to write about that soon, but for now TA TA!

FeBRUary

This morning I was practically blogging in my head on the way to work, I was frustrated and hating everyone and then I got to work and became motivated and happy, and rarin to go.... I don't know what overcame me, but whatever it is, I AM GLAD..... ALL week I've been this sort of bummy irritable lazy person, not wanting to really doing anything, or see anyone, and so on.... Today I am back on track and feel more like my better self. THANK GOODNESS!! I have tons of things to do because I must begin moving into my new home this upcoming Wednesday!!! YAY!!! I finally got my holiday bonus from work today, and I want to share that about 47% of it went to taxes... Isn't that just friggen WONDERFUL?!! What THE Eff?! I really still can't believe that, I am over it now, but I was pretty upset and (earlier I used the word) flabbergasted by this. It just doesn't seem right.

I was feeling pretty old this week, being so tired and not wanting to hang out with people. I , ME, wanted to go to bed early..HA! We are expecting a snow storm, starting tonight into tomorrow and I am excited to get snowed in. I was talking to a friend about this and she said the same thing, but our ideas of being "snowed in" were totally different. I enjoy being snowed in at my own home so I can get things accomplished around the house, but she was excited to be snowed in somewhere with no parents and tons of friends and booze! hahahahah WoW, I am a dorky old soul right therrrr! Oh well, I like housework, and cooking, and painting, and organizing, and then, and then, and then!!!! I'm not a total old fart and party pooper, don't get me wrong, I enjoy boozin here and there, and playing games, and getting a little rowdy, but I need to be productive, I don't like to feel like I am wasting time. It's an issue I have sometimes, I don't always know how to relax. I think I make other people nervous with this characteristic sometimes. I know Matt feels it sometimes, when he wants to lay in bed and be a bum all day and he can feel me getting nervous and twitchy and wanting to leave to go get SOMETHING done. I get anxiety if I am not doing something productive sometimes. I just always feel like I have SOO much to do. It's not like it's all in my head either. I have lists of things that I want to and need to do. They are actual REAL things. I don't understand how some people have so much time to just play around, hang out, party! Do they have NO responsibilities, or maybe just No SENSE of responsibility??? I don't know. I know people who barely spend any time at home, HOW??? Don't you at least have mail to go through? Or bills to pay? A room to clean? Laundry to do? I dunno. Maybe its a freedom thing. They could maybe do that stuff into the weee hours of the night or morning, where if I were to do that my parents would be like GO TO BED, what are you doing?? Like they have before, when I get my midnight bursts of motivation.

I've really become a blogger hahaha... I kind of can't believe it. I never thought it would happen. I was always afraid to put my thoughts out there into the web universe, but as I've mentioned before there's probably not many people who read my rambles and rants.

Unfortunately, I think I have to end this here. The market is about to close, I have things to do and I need to get out of here early. I will write again soon.

Ooh Baby, Baby, It's a Wild World.....It's hard to get by just upon a smile girl.

I think I am an old soul with a child's heart. Does that make sense? It's kind of an oxymoron, but it's not. Think about it. I just know that I can act like an old woman sometimes, but I still enjoy the simple things in life. I am easily excited and like to make light of anything that is thrown my way.

We are coming down to the grind on the house buying. There have been MANY BUMPS in the road that have driven me crazy, but All in ALL everything has worked out well....knock on wood. Today is the day we get our mortgage commitment and I am hoping from here out is SMOOTH sailing???? You never know though, I've thought that before then encountered ANOTHER bump in the road. I am getting very anxious and can't wait to move in!!! To be FREE!!! To have my own life!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!! I am 25 and never have felt totally free because of the way I have been raised and now finallyI will be free and feel free. I think this will be GREAT for me, as well as Matt, and just US as a WHOLE. The money still makes me nervous, but I have been doing my best to save and to pay as many bills off as I can and Ive done alright. I am trying to set myself up for SUCCESS!

The house is very homey and I know we will make it even more cozy once we move in . It warms me inside to just thinking about walking around the house in my bare feet and being in my OWN kitchen, having our own yard and big living room, office space, and just SPACE!! ahhh I LOVE IT! It makes me smile :D. Life is good.

We've hired a new marketing guy at work, and I want ohh so bad to love him and to learn from him and possibly be taken under his wing. It's just that so far, I've had a few negative experiences with him, but I am giving him the benefit of the doubt, and try to tell myself I WILL LIKE HIM... I just don't like him YET. He will grow on me, he needs to get comfortable in his new environment. Let's hope! Marketing has always been my PASSION in the business world. I just feel that it is something I could be good at, and I think I hold a pretty good understanding of it. It's what I said I wanted to do right out of school, but all the jobs I'd like to do are all things that seem to be HARD to get into without any experience, which boggles my mind a bit. How do you get the experience if NO ONE will hire you into the position?? hmmmmm.... It's always seems to be more about WHO you know rather than WHAT you now in this world and it's very unfortunate that is hast to be that way. The world is a corrupt unfair place though in many aspects.

I am really hungry right now and my brain won't think about anything but food. Not good. I have work to do, and this blog probably won't go any further... At least I got a blog in this week. I wonder if any random people ever read this. If so, Thanks?! If not, whatever, it is more for my sanity and venting purposes. I like to put things out there, because if you keep them bottled up it's not healthy. Express yourself! PEACE!

Making up

Here I am again... Bloggity Blog - TWICE in ONE week! I am making up for all the blogging I HAVEN'T done....kind of.....



Today I am in a BLAH mood, I feel tired and sad and very unmotivated. I have kind of been up and down this week. I go from being VERY positive, motivated, inspired to I just don't want to do anything... I think I am just tired because at night I am so restless. My back has been hurting more than usual at night and I never know how to lay. My last blog from earlier in the week was pretty positive, but today I am feeling almost opposite. I am excited tomorrow is a day off though, and hopefully I will get some rest and start feeling like my optimistic self again. I DO consider myself an optimist, I always try to point out the positive in everything, sometimes to extremes where I even just have to LAUGH at MYSELF.



Today I am not as happy with my job, because I realize that I've definately become less of a go getter. this is something that i lack passion and confidence in. Looking for a new job kind of scares me... and it's not like I am miserable here, but I just feel like I could be so much better at something else, something more active and interactive and creative. I always imagined working in some creative team to create something - just working off each other's ideas and putting together something great! I work with a team here and they put together a great portfolio of stocks, BUT BLAH that's so boring! (to me that is!) I want to do arts and crafts!!! hahahaha...



Tomorrow we are getting our hopefully "soon to be home" inspected, and that will be something to make me happy and i will be able to get my creativity flowing with the decorating of it once we move in. Life moves soo fast, and it just gets faster and faster - years start to feel like months and months start to feel like weeks, and weeks start to feel like days and what do we do with all this time?? I dont know, much of it is probably wasted on doing absolutely nothing. Why isn't life easier? I just want to enjoy it and do whatever my heart's desire and not have to stress..... There are so many beautiful things to see out there and not many people get the chance to go out and enjoy them. Most of my life is spent in an office and that is kind of sad, but this is America's culture, work, work, work , and more work. America needs to adapt a better quality of life as its culture... 4 day work weeks have ALWAYS sounded genious to me, as well as taking a break in the middle of the day like in Europe, everyone goes home to relax in the middle of the day. I bet productivity would be increased, and company's overhead would go down. They would save money on mostly energy costs amongst other things.

I feel like DOODIE! What is wrong..... I just want to take a nap at this point. I am very irritable and I just don't like people right now. Wahhhhh!! I need to go work out tonight, last night I slacked and the night before I didnt do anything either. I just been beached on my bed watching stupid meaningless television shows. My neck hurts and I feel like it is the root of all my back pain. I don't know what to do about it, last time I tried to talk to my doctor about it, she wanted to prescribe me some sort of pain killer and I was like NO! I felt ignored and not taken seriously and it has discouraged me from going back to see her about anything. I've been working to have better posture, becuase I've been really noticing my horrible posture - hunchback McGee! Apparently, I feel like complaining today. I am not really a complainer, but I guess everyone has their moments.

Sometimes I find such comfort in silence and being alone and I just become very peaceful and productive. Is that strange?

2010

So I have been slacking with the blogging, but here I am forcing myself to get back on the wagon today... I am not really feeling the whole blog today, so this may be painful to read, but it could also flourish into a spectacular entry so don't give up on me now!

Matt and I have gotten the contract for a house, we have just finished attorney review after a LONG and STRESSFUL process and this Thursday we are getting the house inspected!!! I am oh so excited about living with Matt and having our own SPACE and decorating, cooking, having dinner parties and just spending loads of time cleaning, organizing, and making our house wonderful....On the other hand, I am a little nervous about making mortgage payments and paying all the expenses. Ive been trying to be a little thrifty this month to see how much I can save, and I've worked to cut some of my expenses which is wonderful, and something I should have done long ago. It's so stupid when you realize the littlest things can cut your expenses by so much and you don't realize it till you NEED to. I've been praying a lot, and it seems the only way I can fall asleep lately is by praying in my head till I fall asleep. I think we should be fine, but I've NEVER lived on my own and I know that SOMETIMES I can be careless with my money. I have definately overcame a lot of the anxiety I was having at first about all the $$$$$$, but there is still of course SOME anxiety still present. I am lucky to have a decent paying job and I am really proud of Matt and I for doing this on our own....
I had always imagined that my father would play a big part in helping me buy my first house, which he has, but not financially (due to shitty economy and unfortunate business events)..... We also thought that maybe Matt's father would help us out, but as of now we are doing it on our own with our own hard earned $$$. Look at us! For anyone out there who has never bought a house and knows nothing about it, let me warn you it's A LOT MORE WORK than you can ever imagine. I never realized how much a process the whole thing is, and I think maybe buying a home in New Jersey is an even BIGGER process than most states. We've have also been somewhat unfortunate in the fact that the seller of the house we are buying has not been the easiest person to work with, but in the end this should ALL be worth it and I feel like my ADULT LIFE will finally begin!!!

Life is GOOD - I've been really happy lately. Matt and I have been GREAT together. We just CONNECT and it's such a great feeling. Sometimes I try to make myself think of things Matt will not like about me when we move in together...but I can't really think of much, what I think of the most is me being weird, or having mood swings, or even me being very go! go! go! when he can be more lax - but these all seem minor to me and they are things he already knows about me. We have been together for so long (almost 7 years) that there is probably not much we DONT know about each other.

This work day kind of flew by... I was busy for most of the day, till now when I decided to stop working and come here to BLOG! My quality of work life has been better lately too, I think because I have been busy with personal and business stuff, so it keeps me on my toes which I enjoy. I think I am just an overall active person, and when I feel like I've accomplished a lot in my day I feel good. I am not really good at relaxing....Well I mean I like to relax and be a total BUM here and there, WHO DOESNT, but I find I am a much happier, more motivated person, the more I have going on to some extent, sometimes I can get overwhelmed and want to FREAK OUT or sometimes when there is too much I want to do I just end up doing NOTHING out of complete confusion on where to start. I've gone back to the gym, and started hooping more, and I am really enjoying hoop dancing, it's a great workout, and really challenges my coordination, i.e. doing a shoulder shimmy and hooping at the same time - not really going to happen. I think I can BARELY shoulder shimmy by itself, but it makes you more aware of your body and muscles and different movements. It's great! I reccommend hoola hooping as excercise to anyone. It's fun as well as challenging! Get ONE!