Sunday, August 28, 2016

Sunday Snippet Vol. 14

Summer is winding down, and in two more days we will  be celebrating my daughter's 2nd birthday.  It's incredible. She is becoming more and more "human" with each and every day.  I've been on vacation spending time with her, and it's such a joy.  I will be forever thankful for all these days/times/moments together.  I've been in a more vacation/end of summer/ Zoey's birthday kind of  mood lately, ya know, the rules are slightly bent, and extra ice creams and ice pops are being consumed, cookies eaten before breakfast, lots of swimming, beaching, playgrounding, etc. --- we were supposed to go away, but my father has been in and out of the hospital a little bit, and now Zoey and I both have yucky colds... so things are on hold for now, but I still took the time off from work, and have been just trying to be there for my parents, as well as enjoy the time with my family and friends.  It's of course not perfect, and not nearly what I had planned for this time, but hey, you have to roll with the punches. You have to be able to take the good with the bad, and live for what you have and make the best out of it.  I know it's much easier said than done, but it's the only way to keep your sanity.

XO

PHOTO DUMP:














































Thursday, August 11, 2016

Here I am...


Lately, I have been saying to myself, " I NEED TO WRITE"......



There is always an element of surprise when someone says they really like me, and look up to me.. Is that messed up?  I guess it's a self -esteem issue, or it's just a truly knowing yourself thing.. When people say they look up to me, I know that I am far, far, far, from perfect, and that there are reasons they should NOT look up to me.  And for some reason when people say they really like me, it's just like well that's the nicest thing you can say to me, do you really mean it?  haha... I have stated this before, but I tend to assume that people DON'T really like me.  I feel like there have been many instances in my life when people have claimed to really enjoy my company, but then their actions have shown me the complete opposite -- which is just a total mind-eff! :)

Sometimes, I feel like I can be cold, definitely introverted, boring....serious... insecure....and completely awkward.  Other times, I am warm and inviting, fun-loving, and outgoing.  Sounds a bit bi-polar, but it's true.  It's a playing off of people's energy thing too.  Some people truly bring out your best, make you feel good, medicate your soul -- bring you to life.... On the other hand,let's face it, we all have bad days, when we aren't our best selves and that's perfectly ok.  I mean there are times when every day life feels like a struggle for me.  On these days I like to hit the beach lately, otherwise, I literally have to remind myself to relax, take deep breaths, and enjoy the moment.  Life has changed me, and I guess that is part of growing up, but I occasionally think to myself , "what is it like to live an anxiety-free life?" Being carefree and vibrant, full of life, is something I sorely miss.

IS IT JUST GROWING UP? Is it?


Signing off-
Befuddled and Bewildered


Monday, August 1, 2016

Sunday Snippet Vol. 13

 Today was relaxing, yet it was productive.... It was a gray, dreary, rainy day outside.  The weekend forecast called for rain and clouds throughout, but each day the sun came out for a good portion of the day, and distracted me from the tasks I had planned to tackle.  It really messed with me, ya know? Zoey is also going through this "2 year old sleep regression" thing, and it can be challenging at times to remain patient when she fights her naps.  She hasn't resisted naps like this in a long time.... The girl likes her sleep.  And I should be thankful for that.  Today was good though, although she resisted her nap in the late morning  (her usual time, I am guessing she may start napping later now), she was able to hang out happily while I tidied up my office/studio space. We danced around, did some crafty things, and then Zoey took a good nap in the afternoon. While she napped, I was able to tackle some things around the house, I have been meaning to do....and that brings me great comfort.  Today was the crappiest of days weather-wise, not much sun, mostly clouds and rain, and I was able to find comfort and peace to focus and enjoy things that needed to be done. The warmth of the sun can be so distracting...

I'm not sure I am ready to start the work week tomorrow.  Don't you hate that feeling? When Sunday is just slipping out of your hands, and Monday is lurking its lovely head around that very close corner. ughh... It will all be ok though, the weekend will be here before I know it.  I mean today is the last day of July! I cannot believe it.  Tomorrow starts Zoey's 2nd birthday month!..... it's very bittersweet.  She is now sleeping in her toddler bed (which was a big one for me for some reason), she is wearing her little "puddle-jumper swim vest" thing and kicking and "swimming around" in the pool, she jumps into the pool from the side, and swims to the ladder, gets out, and repeat! ahh! I remember doing that myself.  After being a bit hesitant with the ocean here and there, she is now fearless, and runs in and out of the ocean waves like crazy.  She is so sweet most of the time, especially when she's singing her own little version of tweenkle, tweenkle, little star, or the ABC's... or humming a lullaby to her baby doll.  I just look at her and say to myself, "I never wanna forget how sweet my little love was today...."  Of course there are other times, when I think she is absolutely ridiculous and overly dramatic... but the good outweighs the bad.

I am glad I started this blog and have really stuck with coming here on a regular basis. It's nice to have a place to document your life. I used to treat my journals like a blog - cutting and pasting pictures, drawing, writing poems, and song lyrics. 

I leave you again with a few scenes of our summer lives: