HIT

Today I was hit hard with the reality that I am ready to start looking for a new job. I am not passionate about what I currently do, and feel that because of that I will never really move out of this position. I've always wanted to be able to use my creative part of my brain for my work. I love to design and make things. I also enjoy problem solving and strategy. I'm an intelligent person, and I just think my intelligence is being wasted at this point. I feel as though positions I would be interested in would be impossible for me to land though because of lack of experience. In college I always said I was going to land a marketing or advertising job since I studied business and I feel my creative mindset could be put to good use in those industries to think of innovative ways to market or advertise companies, people, etc. I always said I was going to be very successful at whatever I chose as a career and I just think finance is NOT my thing. It doesn't get me excited. I mean numbers excite me sometimes, but I just don't think it's ME. What horrible timing for this to strike me though, we JUST bought a house and I need the money more than ever. I think I am going to have to put the job hunt on hold until we are settled and then I will have to put the pedal to the metal and hopefully find something I love. I need to be proactive about this. I know if I were to do something I LOVE I would be incredible!! It's the way I've ALWAYS been..... I have strong passion and ambition inside of me. I just need my fire to be lit.

S.O.S.

Ooh Baby, Baby, It's a Wild World.....It's hard to get by just upon a smile girl.

I think I am an old soul with a child's heart. Does that make sense? It's kind of an oxymoron, but it's not. Think about it. I just know that I can act like an old woman sometimes, but I still enjoy the simple things in life. I am easily excited and like to make light of anything that is thrown my way.

We are coming down to the grind on the house buying. There have been MANY BUMPS in the road that have driven me crazy, but All in ALL everything has worked out well....knock on wood. Today is the day we get our mortgage commitment and I am hoping from here out is SMOOTH sailing???? You never know though, I've thought that before then encountered ANOTHER bump in the road. I am getting very anxious and can't wait to move in!!! To be FREE!!! To have my own life!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!! I am 25 and never have felt totally free because of the way I have been raised and now finallyI will be free and feel free. I think this will be GREAT for me, as well as Matt, and just US as a WHOLE. The money still makes me nervous, but I have been doing my best to save and to pay as many bills off as I can and Ive done alright. I am trying to set myself up for SUCCESS!

The house is very homey and I know we will make it even more cozy once we move in . It warms me inside to just thinking about walking around the house in my bare feet and being in my OWN kitchen, having our own yard and big living room, office space, and just SPACE!! ahhh I LOVE IT! It makes me smile :D. Life is good.

We've hired a new marketing guy at work, and I want ohh so bad to love him and to learn from him and possibly be taken under his wing. It's just that so far, I've had a few negative experiences with him, but I am giving him the benefit of the doubt, and try to tell myself I WILL LIKE HIM... I just don't like him YET. He will grow on me, he needs to get comfortable in his new environment. Let's hope! Marketing has always been my PASSION in the business world. I just feel that it is something I could be good at, and I think I hold a pretty good understanding of it. It's what I said I wanted to do right out of school, but all the jobs I'd like to do are all things that seem to be HARD to get into without any experience, which boggles my mind a bit. How do you get the experience if NO ONE will hire you into the position?? hmmmmm.... It's always seems to be more about WHO you know rather than WHAT you now in this world and it's very unfortunate that is hast to be that way. The world is a corrupt unfair place though in many aspects.

I am really hungry right now and my brain won't think about anything but food. Not good. I have work to do, and this blog probably won't go any further... At least I got a blog in this week. I wonder if any random people ever read this. If so, Thanks?! If not, whatever, it is more for my sanity and venting purposes. I like to put things out there, because if you keep them bottled up it's not healthy. Express yourself! PEACE!