Kill them with Kindness

I try so hard to be nice to just about everyone that I come across.  Some days it's harder than others, and some people make it more difficult than I'd like.  It literally hurts my feelings when I find it difficult to be nice to you -- no matter how much I may feel you deserve it. People are moody, there are so many factors in someone's day that can dictate attitudes. People can also be misunderstood and misread, and these are all things that I try to keep in mind always.  

When I'm at the office, I try to smile, and say hello to my fellow employees in passing. Most people will greet you right back, and the ones that don't.....I don't really get them, but I see it almost as a challenge to get them to smile back and greet me. It's always a good feeling when I can break them.  Recently, I was reading a book and it was mentioned that the French go around greeting everyone in their paths with "Bonjour" (good day) and that sometimes when Americans feel as though the French are being rude, it's because you haven't greeted them with the proper bonjour.  A waitress, salesperson, friend, and business person, all get the same greeting - for we are all human and should be treated accordingly.  So, next time you are in France please remember to greet everyone with a simple bonjour and let me know how that pans out for ya.  I think every culture should adapt this...

I am a firm believer in killing with kindness...I remember the first time I heard that phrase. I think I was in college and working retail part-time... And from that moment forward I adapted that behavior... It really helps you to dig deep and find that extra bit of patience and move forward. Some people are just rude for the sake of making themselves feel better about themselves. To be rude back is just a waste of energy.  I like to believe that people are good.  But too frequently, I find myself very disappointed. 

There's someone in my life right now that I know doesn't like me. And for some time, I thought it was kind of this mutual dislike for each other, that we were keeping under wraps for the sake of our ecosystem --like agreeing to disagree. But then I found out they said "brutal"things behind my back. And now I have said things behind their back (guilty!)... With all this said, they recently had a shitty day and I STILL felt compassion for them. I asked them if things were ok and I was kind of shooed away with an abrupt, "I'm fine".  But then when I witnessed someone else asking this person how things were, they responded with a smile and a "terrible".   This person is now going through the most momentous of occasions and I'm finding it difficult to be "happy for them" - I have congratulated and sent kind words because in general I feel the occasion deserves that.  But, part of me is really struggling to feel.......well....genuine, I guess. And I'm not sure if the roles were reversed, if this person would be so nice to me.  I disappoint myself when I have feelings/thoughts like this.  I know I just need a moment to gather my "sanity" and get over it, but the fact is I still for a moment went to that place and lingered for a bit.  I needed to take that step back, and realize it's not worth it.  You know what I am saying? Do you every have feelings like this?

I have been thinking about putting together a piece of some sort called "Advice for Zoey".  I have been writing down little things here and there that I find valuable in life-- Things that I want her to know, and have in her toolbox. You can be sure one of the things on that list will be:

 "Kill them with kindness"....