Bits & Pieces of Me

Again, I will be honest, I am forcing myself to sit here and type away.  I get these little inklings to write time to time, but then the moment seems to pass fairly quickly.  I feel like I have been super busy lately too.  I am still in this transition period, with my new work/life situation.  I don't feel completely settled into my new life yet, I haven't found my groove.  I am just beginning to feel myself settling into what is now life -- but it's still going to take a bit of time.  I have been working out much more consistently, spending more time outdoors, and being relieved of some added stresses.  It feels good, it helps me to relax and breathe and let go a bit.  When I am stressed, I am tense, on edge, consumed -- it is hard for me to relax - more than I already seem to struggle with this pleasure.  I sometimes feel like I need to really focus on relaxing to actually relax.  How ass-backward does that sound?  It might be slightly nutty.  It's just sometimes hard to turn off my brain, sometimes I feel like I always have some sort of dialogue running up there.  Sometimes its very elaborate, other times quite simple, it can also be effed up, or completely childish-- it's broad spectrum.  It can be exhausting, and sometimes makes it hard for me to focus on things I am not really interested in... I guess this is why I like writing, or actually get the urge to write, because it's a way to get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper, or in this case screen, right?  It's good to see thoughts written out.  Although, I have to say that I think some of my best work has never been written down :)  -- there really could be some truth to that though.  I often start a post in my head, get super excited about it, and then once I start to post, it just totally deflates.....:p

I am currently re-watching Californication on Netflix.  I really like the characters on this show.  Hank Moody and Karen, Runkel and Marci.  They are all so great in their own unique ways.  Prior to this, I was rewatching Weeds for the third time.  I am really sounding cool over here, huh?  I thoroughly enjoy that show, and Nancy Botwin is my girl.  I do this thing now, where I say to myself, "how can I Nancy Botwin the situation", essentially, "what would Nancy Botwin do?"  -- it entertains me, makes me feel a tad bad-ass, and like I can conquer all.

I am not even sure what I am sharing here, I guess it's a little insight into who I am.  How my mind works.  I hope you find it interesting, as we are all different, and we are all a bit similar too.  Celebrate your differences with others, let differences teach you something, expand your horizons, open your mind, learn to understand.  I think too many times, people want to find conflict in differences, and while this is ok, sometimes it's just unnecessary.  And it's good to remind yourself, to reflect, and to accept people for who they are.  I am starting to sound preachy, and it's really getting late.  My husband and I would say "I am staying up for no reason."  So goodnight from me to you! xo

The Mind

I just have the urge to write. Creativity has been knocking on my door lately and I wish I had more time to answer.
Sometimes I play pretend in my head like I did as a little girl to make my days feel more important, interesting, worthwhile, I guess.  It helps me to get through some of the mundane tasks I sometimes must complete.  I believe in mind over matter wholeheartedly.  If you make yourself think positively, you will feel positively. If you think negatively, those thoughts will only make your days worse. When I feel down and out, and upset with the world, I try to take a minute to remind myself of all the good I have in my life and that there is so much worse that COULD be happening.  Be thankful for what you DO have, for the life you ARE living, appreciate the world around you.  I feel that with social media these days people are always comparing their lives to others, and trying to outdo each other.  The thing is, social media can be easily masked.  Someone may travel a lot, but they may be lonely and unhappy deep inside.  The couple that may seem so happy and in love could be on the verge of splitting up.  Remember to be present in your own life, and to enjoy everything you have, LIVE, put down the phone, step away from the screens, unplug, and enjoy a real conversation, make real memories, take in all that you can.  Just because you didn't post a photo on instagram doesn't mean that it didn't happen.  Matter of fact, most of the time, it means you are living in the moment and enjoying yourself too much to be bothered.  Our minds take the best photographs. Don't you think?